


Seeking Safety

by Skylar_Matthews



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: more to come - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 11:30:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar_Matthews/pseuds/Skylar_Matthews
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jazz isn't immune to fear and insecurities like everyone thinks, it just takes a lot more to get under his plating. But what options do you have when you're the one everyone sees as a model of 'well adjusted' in the war?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeking Safety

**Author's Note:**

> ((First time posting here and I had a time limit so lemme know if I did anything wrong.))

A knock at the door had Prowl up instantly to answer it. There were few reasons anyone would come around this late and fewer bots who would visit. Out of habit he began running probabilities but he never expected to open the door to a familiar visored face. "Jazz?"

"Hey."

The reply was subdued but so typical of the saboteur and it took a moment for Prowl to collect his thoughts again. "What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be out on a mission?"

"Just got back," Jazz replied. "I'll report in in the mornin' but... D'ya mind lettin' me stay here the rest a' the night?"

The 'I feel jittery/uneasy/paranoid' went unspoken but they'd done this enough it was unnecessary. And though there was still a stack of reports on his desk to be read through and further scheduling to be done, Prowl never even spared a thought for the 'wasted time'.

"Of course," the tactician answered immediately and stepped aside to let Jazz enter. The crew had found out the hard way just how volatile he could be if he felt forced to do anything in this mood. 

The misconception was that it took a lot to get under the saboteur's plating but in reality it was closer to 'only a few certain things could unnerve him', although he usually didn't figure them out until they were happening. Which generally ended up lending additional unpredictability to Jazz's actions and 'planning'. It had taken a few lucky interventions (and Ratchet's careful observational skills, although less than delicate explanation) to even find a way to bring him back from the brink, and the answer was surprisingly simple.

Jazz was almost in the center of the room before Prowl let the door close, watching carefully in case being shut in was a bad thing tonight. When he didn't react to it, Prowl slowly moved closer. Sometimes, very rarely, Jazz would share what he'd seen or heard or taken part in that had set this off. More often though he preferred to keep it to himself, but that never stopped Prowl from asking each time.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jazz's focus seemed to shift inwards and Prowl hung back where he was, about an arm's length away. If Jazz was replaying memories the last thing he needed to do was interrupt him, especially accidentally and unknowingly. Although if it got too bad he'd have to do just that anyway.

Prowl was just beginning to think he might have to take that option when a full body shudder passed through the saboteur's frame. Jazz followed up almost immediately with his answer.

"Nah, I don't think I'll subject ya ta this one."

Prowl nodded as Jazz walked over to the berth. The silence stretched on as both officers just watched one another until finally Jazz spoke, softly but the words carried. "Ya can come closer. I ain't gonna hurt ya."

"I know," Prowl responded as he crossed the room. "But I also know you need to remind yourself too."

"Ya know me so well," Jazz teased, though it lacked the usual mirth. He just wasn't feeling up to humor yet.

Words were unnecessary as they arranged themselves on the berth. Prowl lay on the outside, his doorwings just barely peeking over the edge, with Jazz towards the wall nestled against him, slightly lower so that his helm was pressed against Prowl's front bumper. They had tried other positions but Jazz had insisted this one helped most and Prowl couldn't argue with that. The tactician wasn't uncomfortable and the arrangement did show just how much trust was given to him. The latter initially surprising him with how important he felt.

Some nights they talked; mostly about the crew's antics, sometimes about memories from before the war or early days of it, other times about nothing at all and occasionally about what brought Jazz here. Other nights they didn't need to speak and Prowl was just thinking this was the quickest the other had managed to fall into recharge when Jazz spoke. The whisper sounded incredibly loud in the previous silence.

"Have ya ever heard a spark song before?"

After a moment Prowl asked, "spark song?"

"Ya know, the individual melody each spark produces at about the subatomic level... Ah figure ya'd understand 'cause a' the harmonics in the Crystal Gardens but maybe it was just a Polyhex thing." Jazz shifted almost nervously against Prowl before hesitantly continuing. "Ah'm guessin' that's a no, so do you wanna?"

Before Prowl could answer, a file was waiting if he cared to accept it. He did so and opened the audio file immediately when it finished transferring. It wasn't music in any conventional sense; there was too much an ethereal quality to the sound, as if it were coming from somewhere beyond their dimension, and he supposed that made sense given the spark was said to be part of Primus.

Eventually he remembered to respond. "It has a rather haunting sound to it."

"Yeah," Jazz replied. "Had ta up the volume so ya could hear it at all but it's almost exactly right." A short silence before, "ah got another if ya wanna compare how different each spark is?"

Again the file was waiting before he could answer and Prowl accepted. He thought he knew what to expect but found this one just as shockingly different as the first had been to his expectations. Whereas the first had been steady, pulsing strong and consistent, the new song was more... Well, unpredictable was probably the best word. One moment it would be airy and light before dropping to a dark and ominous note, then flutter back to cheerful before vanishing entirely for just long enough to cause worry then be back as happy as ever. It was unnerving and somehow familiar, prompting his next question.

"Where, exactly, did you get these?"

"Well..." Jazz hesitated just a moment in answering Prowl's question. "The one ya just heard is mine, an' the first is yers."

Even anticipating such, the revelation had a startling intimate feel to it and Prowl found himself at a loss for words. Jazz, for his part, managed alright in the silence for a short while. Then his own nervousness began to gnaw at him and he couldn't help fidgeting. Soon though, he found one of his servos grasped and held firmly.

"Thank you for sharing." Prowl accompanied the words with a gentle, almost affectionate, squeeze of Jazz's servo. "I have no frame of reference but I speculate this was an incredibly special moment."

"Yeah, something like that," Jazz confirmed, although it was a bit more than just 'special'. He shouldn't have hoped the other would know that, but at least it saved him from a degree of rejection. Maybe he could save himself some face by moving the topic to something else. "Sorry ah'm always keepin' ya awake an' away from yer work."

"Don't be. I'm happy to be able to help. With everything you witness and deal with it'd be more troubling if none of it affected you. Besides, I often don't recharge until much later anyway and my workload isn't always as large as it seems."

"If ya say so..." Jazz mumbled, unable to prevent his thoughts from taking voice. "I... just don't want ya ta regret helpin' or resent me fer anything."

"I don't, and I don't anticipate ever doing so. I would prove it if I could but you'll just have to believe me about this."

"Ah trust ya, Prowl, I really do. Ah just..." The saboteur ex-vented a little too deeply. "Aw forget it... Ah don't really wanna talk about it right now."

It was low of him to pull the 'I don't want to talk about it' move (of course Prowl wouldn't push after that, the mech never did) but he hadn't anticipated having this conversation any time soon and he couldn't find a way to not fail at presenting his side. 

Silence blanketed them again and soon the familiarity of the situation slowly bled the awkwardness away. Enough so Jazz ventured to speak once more. "Rest well, Prowler."

The reply came immediately but just as hushed. "You too, Jazz." 

Neither spoke after that, both eventually falling into recharge that was neither peaceful nor disturbed.


End file.
